


Hold Onto This

by Nevanna



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Bloodlust, Codependency, Coping, Devotion, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, Missing Scene, Physical Disability, Recovery, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22138006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevanna/pseuds/Nevanna
Summary: After emerging from the Buried, Daisy tries to believe in what she still has.
Relationships: Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 10





	Hold Onto This

**Author's Note:**

> This fic fills the "crisis of faith" square for H/C Bingo. It's set sometime shortly after Episode 132.

When Daisy can navigate the hallways and stairways of the Institute, from one end to the other, without falling down, Basira suggests that they go outside for a walk. The sky is blanketed with clouds and choked with smog, but it’s more sky than Daisy ever expected to see again.

“You’re getting better,” Basira says softly. “I know it doesn’t always feel that way, but…”

“What if I never get my strength back?” The question comes out in a rush. “Not the kind that let me hunt, just what I had before that.” Daisy braces herself some crap about positive thinking.

But Basira says, “You’ll work with what you do have. A lot of people do. But I still hope that it’ll improve.”

“Maybe it’s not meant to.”

This time, Basira asks, “Do you really believe that?”

“A lot’s happened that I shouldn’t believe.”

Basira huffs in agreement and takes her hand.

She hasn’t asked Daisy what the Buried was like. If Jon let her hear the tape that had survived their ordeal (because of _course_ it bloody had), then Basira would know everything that she needs to, even more than Daisy herself had known before she’d been compelled to share it all. And she’d had a _lot_ of time to remember every horror she’d committed; the dirt had hadn’t stifled her thoughts even as it pressed in on all sides.

Before the coffin, she could catch a scent from a street away, or two streets, or more. Those who’d been touched by the fear creatures carried something more than a scent, something that she felt in her sinuses and her pulse and the back of her head, that told her what to _chase_ and _catch_ and _kill_. Bouchard had carried it; so had Jon, if not as strongly. Melanie had hints of it, before the Unknowing. Maybe it increased the more they used their powers. For all she knew, Daisy herself had stood out like a beacon, like an open wound, to other hunters. 

A chilly rain has started to fall by the time they complete their circuit. The Institute is just out of view when Daisy’s legs buckle, and she almost lands face-first on the pavement before Basira has an arm around her. “Easy,” she whispers. “When you’re ready, we’ll go back, slowly as you like.” 

“I’m okay,” Daisy mutters. 

“I’m here even if you’re not,” Basira insists. “You can always rely on me.” 

_Can_ she? Daisy assumed at first that her body was failing her because she hadn’t used it for so many months, but she suspects that there’s probably another reason. When she lies awake next to Basira, trying to listen to the quiet, her heartbeat feels like a clock ticking down. Has Basira figured it out, too? Does she know what Daisy would have to do, what she’d have to become, in order to save herself? Sooner or later, Daisy will have to ask her, _How much do you want me to live? How much do you care who else gets hurt?_

__

Daisy believed in the police force, long past the point when she shouldn’t have. As for the Hunt, she believed in that, too, if that was even the right word for an instinct that had been as fundamental as the need to eat. Cut loose from both, she has to believe that Basira will always catch her, will do what Daisy needs her to do; that they can lean on each other until their time has run out. 

__

**Author's Note:**

> I am an able-bodied writer who is not trying to send One Absolute Message about disability and quality of life, and I have tried to stay true, first and foremost, to Daisy's character and circumstances at this point in the story. However, I recognize that sometimes Messages sneak in regardless, and must leave it to the readers to decide whether I succeeded in sympathetically navigating the complexities of her initial "what if?" and her overall situation.


End file.
